It's a gorgeous fall day in Texas. I just finished writing the first draft of an article due Dec 1st, which is something to be proud of seeing it is only Nov 16th. I went for a walk with my best buds Big Daddy Weave (loving their latest project). A flock of red-winged black birds flew overhead and all I could think was God, I feel so alive! But before I could draw my next breath another thought hit, I wonder what hardship is around the corner that will suck the life out of me.
It made me so mad I wanted to swear.
I hate that I do this - miss out on the glory of a moment wondering what event might steal the moment from me. I am the one stealing those moments from myself. In her book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown talks about foreboding joy, approaching joy with the sense that surely this won't last long. Thinking that if I don't give myself completely over to the joy of this moment, then difficulty won't cause quite as much pain.
I'm done with this!
I want to live EACH DAY and feel EACH MOMENT fully!
I had an opportunity to put this new mindset into practice a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to go for a walk but didn't want to go alone so I extended an invitation to the whole household. My dear 12 yr old accepted. He rode his bike beside me on the way out, but on the way home when he stopped to check out the erosion that is talking place by our neighborhood lake, I climbed on his bike. He ran to catch up and jumped on the pegs. For a few precious moments, I pedaled while he stood over me with his hands on my shoulders. I leaned back to feel his nearness. We talked and I soaked it in, until we hit a patch of slick algae-infused mud and the bike slide out from under us. I scraped my knee and hit my cheek on the sidewalk.
I was determined not to let this accident overshadow the joy of being with my son. I hugged him and told him how grateful I was for our time together.
Sure there are bumps on the road of life and road-rash really hurts. I refuse to be consumed with the cautious apprehension of "what's next". When life happens, I'll get back up. If I can't get myself back up, I have friends who will help me. When the world slips right out from under me, I have a Savior to carry me.
Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd
and carry them forever. Psalm 28:9
Don't steal your own joy moments. Don't let the "what ifs" sentence you to a life of self-protection. Get back on the bicycle and REALLY live today!