Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Like a Lamb

This morning while my youngest son and I were driving to school, I asked him to teach me one of his favorite songs from the up-coming Children's Christmas Drama. He sang it so tenderly it brought tears to my eyes:

You are the Shepherd, I am the sheep
So I will follow, wherever you lead
Jesus I come to you just as I am
Bowing before you just like a lamb

It is a sweet song of surrender. Of acceptance....just as I am. This boy loves the story of Jesus leaving the 99 to seek out that one little lost lamb. Something in him connects with the idea in a tangible way. Maybe because he's the youngest, he probably feels little...or even lost at times in his big brother's world. I can see that. How precious that he knows Jesus sees the value in "little" and "lost". He is a Good Shepherd!

It was a lovely moment. Exhale....

Then...he said, "Mom, sometimes I sing a different version, would you like to hear it?"


Hmmm... the 80's rock 'n' roll screamer re-mix is certainly interesting, but not quite as moving!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Fall Just Blew In...

Really, it did. Wednesday morning we were in the park enjoying the warm sun. Wednesday evening as we left for church it was a completely different day. Cool. Brisk. Breezy!

The effect on my children is fascinating. It's like they have been awakened out of the oppressive heat of a summer dream. They are sprightly! Of course, this doesn't seem to lend itself to first time obedience. It is almost like they don't even hear me - they are so lively! Making up new words to songs they know. Playing silly games with each other. They are cracking me up!

This morning on our way to school. I said out loud "Is this my exit?" My oldest answered "Yes, unless you want to take us to Florida!" And off they went on a virtual trip. Visiting old friends, seeing the sights. When I suggested we couldn't just take off to Florida without Daddy, they rationalized that he could fly there and we'd meet him at the airport. Whoa...if one parent is driving and one parent is about we let MOMMY take the flight!

I was trying to initiate a conversation about what we'd like to DO for the holiday season. (Re-directing the "what we WANT" question) I had lots of great ideas: Burnet Bethlehem village, Zilker park, horse-drawn carriage rides.... They didn't bite. You won't believe what they came up with. I'm still shaking my head. They want some foster children. Foster children for Christmas. Where on earth did that come from?

I'm all about connecting relationally at the holidays BUT sadly, I'm not sure my heart is big enough to connect in this way. The cooler weather seems to have enlarged their hearts to a life wide open. I feel like the Grinch.

Can I even pose the question...."God, could you be asking this of us, is this You speaking through my children?" I just don't know.....but Lord, do blow that cool awakening breeze over me! Wisk away the fear that keeps the limits on my life. Rouse me to possiblity.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


We had a big ol' Texas thunderstorm last night. I would have slept right through it, but a precious little boy came to my bedside and woke me up. "I'm scared Momma, will you come snuggle with me?" Of course, I could never say no to an invitation like that. I climbed out of my bed and into his and just held him. I'm still a little bigger than him, so I wrapped him up in my arms and snuggled in close. The storm raged on. We watched the lightning flash outside his window together. I'm not sure I said anything, I was just near. That seemed to be enough. I stayed there with him for a while until his brother came and found us and asked for his own snuggle time. It feels good to be needed.

I remembered our sweet interaction this morning when we were singing Still. I feel so small today, and I embrace the idea of knowing there is a God who is bigger than me, than what I know or what I see. I need to feel his strong arms wrapped around me. The winds of change are blowing, and I'm not at all fond of change. Storms are raging - economic storms, political storms, relational storms. I need rest. I need to be still and know that He is God. Thankfully, I don't have to shake and wake Him to get his attention in the middle of my nights. He never sleeps. I can't stop the storms that roll through our neighborhood. For some reason, although I believe He COULD, God doesn't always stop the storms that roll through my life. Maybe he likes to hear my voice call out to him. Maybe he wants me to know that I need him, that I don't have to rely on myself alone. Whatever the case, he did promise to be with me. To be close. Finding rest in the middle of the storm. It seems unthinkable but that's exactly what I find when He is near.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God...