I'll admit that I am not fond of change. It has taken me a year to warm up to the new database at work. I still lament some of my favorite features from the previous one. I had to move work spaces a couple of weeks ago and that has been difficult. It's not necessarily bad...it's just really different! Even with the idea of moving to a beautiful new home, aside from the packing and loading and unloading and unpacking......I hesitate. I wonder. I'm in no hurry to get out there. Strange, I know. At least I am aware of my aversion to change. Maybe this awareness is the beginning of acceptance. There will always be change....to quote my husband's favorite band "changes aren't permanent, but change is." So, I'm stuck with it. But I'm learning to embrace the idea that being stuck with change is actually preferable to being just plain stuck.
I read The Shack a few weeks ago. (I should have been packing, right?) It only took me a couple of days to devour this great read. I am fascinated by the author William Young's characterization of the God-head. I loved the Holy Spirit most of all. Maybe because I spend the least amount of my God-thoughts on the Holy Spirit. I also loved the personification of Wisdom and the amazing conversation in chapter 11. Wisdom commends the main character Mack on his love for his children, their dialogue goes like this:
....But you, you do love your children well - very well."
"I learned much of that from Nan." ( Mack's wife)
"We know. But you did learn, didn't you?"
"I suppose I did."
"Among the mysteries of a broken humanity, that too is rather remarkable; to learn, to allow change."
Something about that last sentence has remained with me. That God's wisdom would celebrate our ability as humans to learn, to change. Let's face it. We are all broken to varying degrees. We often choose to stay in that place. Sometimes, when its all you know, that brokenness feels like a warm blanket. It is comfortable to be unchanged.
But change is part of growth.
My little one complains at night from time to time about growing pains in his legs. He usually asks for a Tums because he has never forgotten our pediatrician saying that these are a good source of calcium and that calcium helps...sometimes I think he just wants to eat one and nothing really hurts! :) But, change can hurt and is often uncomfortable - even when the change is good, and something as perfectly normal as growing a few inches.
This interaction in The Shack is helping me to shift how I feel about this whole idea of change. I know God loves me just the way I am. But how sweet to have God look over my life and say "Remarkable! look at my Lynnie, she's growing! She's allowing change. She is learning to love like I love! I am so very fond of that girl!"