Ps 27: 4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
I've been thinking about this verse lately, and wondering, Is this really one thing? or is it three things? ....because it kinda sounds like three things, right?
Dwell in the house of the LORD
Gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
Seek him in his temple
Three things, not One.....maybe the Psalmist wasn't big on math :)
I am really challenged by the last thought...To seek him in his temple....the Psalmist expresses his desire for seeking...I confess, I am not particularly fond of seeking....I much prefer finding! As a mom, I am always seeking for things....a lost shoe, a favorite shirt, or the can't-sleep-without-it stuffed animal. Since our move, I do even more seeking than usual. Not fun. But in this verse the Psalmist is saying I ask, I seek: to seek. I have to stop and think about that. Selah.
I've bestowed upon myself a mom-title that I delight in "Finder-of-all-lost-things" . Somehow in my seeking, I typically do end up finding and it is the finding that makes me happy. I feel the same way about God's presence. I delight in those moments of nearness. Of finding. Of feeling: I'm not alone. God is here with me. Exhale. I've been convicted by this passage that often I am seeking an experience, I am seeking a feeling, hoping for God-goose-bumps. I do desire God's presence, his beauty expressed...but do I desire just the seeking? If I judge finding by feeling...by my goose-bump-gauge....then I'm not sure I always feel like a Finder.
As much as I love feelings, thank God for feelings, there has to be more. I think that is where faith comes in. We all know from reading the Psalms that there were times the author came up feeling empty...God where are you? I'm all alone here.....maybe that is why he seeks the seeking and not only the finding. (See Psalm 22, 42, 102) Faith says...never the less, and I will yet praise him! Faith looks to the future, faith keeps believing, keeps seeking.
So I keep seeking. But how beautiful to be able to say with the Psalmist: my heart seeks to seek!
I am comforted in believing that we are not doomed to a fatalistic open-ended search. Seeking that says "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." God made this beautiful promise to us, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (See Deut 4 and Jer 29) What a great truth to hold on to...you will seek me and find me...I WILL BE FOUND BY YOU! God is not giggling in some cosmic hiding spot we could never discover. He promises to be FOUND! I love that. We can know his presence, see his beauty!
Gee...that brings me full circle to David's one thing in Ps 27, probably as a poet, math wasn't his strong suit, but maybe it really is just ONE THING after all!