Go Ahead and Cry

It’s okay to cry.

In fact, sometimes a good cry is exactly what we need. 

When studying the chemical composition of tears, Bio-chemist, Dr William Frey, discovered that emotional tears contain protein- based hormones. He didn’t find them in onion chopping tears. Research indicates that through emotional tears, our body is actually cleansing itself of harmful stress hormones.

Tears are evidence of God’s master design.

I’m learning to let them flow.

Last month, my husband and I attended a worship night with 1211, a collection of musicians, song-writers and singers led by Ramy Antoun. It’s an experience like no other. The band and singers are set up in the center of the room and the “congregation” surrounds them. The performance aspect of modern worship is lost in this arrangement and what happens is total immersion.

As a former worship team member, I found myself leaning over and peeking around heads to see who was singing. Who was leading?  I gave up. I don’t need to see to be led. I can listen. I can feel. I can allow God to lead me.

And he led me to tears.

Releasing.
Letting go.

During one song, Ramy pointed out a woman who was available to pray with people. I knew I had to go. I think I’m the only one who did. Her presence was God’s present to me that night, a beautiful gift.

She reminded me of Elijah when he fled to the desert fearing for his life. He collapsed, exhausted from the journey in the shelter of a broom tree. He wanted to give up. He asked God to take him home. But miraculously God provided food and water for Elijah under that tree. In 1 Kings 19:7 an angel wakes him and says, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” 

Do you ever feel that way?
Like the journey is just too much for you.
I did that night for sure.

I was anxious, stressed and overwhelmed about what lied ahead of me. But God met me that night. 1211 was my broom tree in the desert. They set the table. I pulled up a seat, ate my fill, quenched my thirst and cried my tears.

Yes, I cried - in public.

We’re not talking sweet tender tears, the kind you wipe away with the back of your hand, the kind that evaporate in a second or two.

No, we’re talking multiple tissue tears - mascara melting, nose running, cheek drenching tears.

Karol Ann Moore began to sing I’m Amazed and every word rang true for me in that moment:

You love is stronger than my pain. Your grace is greater than my shame. You pursue me even when I run away. I’m amazed by your amazing grace.

And I am amazed by the gracious, sustaining provision of my Father.

Stress washed away by rivers of tears. I could breathe deeper.

I left lighter, refreshed and strengthened for the road ahead.