Waiting For Morning

Over the course of my life, interactions with the alarm clock on my bedside table looked like this:

6:30am
6:39am
6:48am
6:57am
7:06am Wait, what? 7:06am!   AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

My college roommate nicknamed me the Snooze Queen. I remember wondering as a tired mother of preschoolers if I’d be happy when my kids were teenagers who wanted to sleep in until noon on Saturdays because then I’d finally be able to sleep in again myself. 

Not so much. My back gets tired. My to-do lists calls and I get up while the boys sleep on.

I am only an occasional insomniac, most likely attributable to hormonal fluctuations.  Thank you very much peri-menopause.  I usually don’t get up out of bed. I’ve decided that even if I’m not sleeping my body is still resting when I’m in lying down. I tell myself that surely I am dozing off between glances at the clock.

12:38am
1:45am
3:12am
4:57am
Sure, a minute is a minute.
An hour is an hour.
But some nights drag on longer, darker.
I toss and turn restless, hopeless.

On nights like those I wait for morning. I long for light to shine. I watch for reasonable waking/rising numbers to roll across the face of the clock.

I watch and I wait. I try not to think about being sleep deprived come the day, but I never wonder IF that day will come. I think about the juicy grapefruit I’m going to eat when I get up. Knowing full well, the sun will rise. This system our Creator put in place is quite dependable. I trust it completely. The Earth will turn. Gravitational forces that suspend us in space will hold. We are safely held in our corner of the universe. It’s a truck load of trust in things I’ve never seen.

Could I trust and wait for the Lord with the same doubtless faith?

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
    and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord
    more than watchmen wait for the morning,
    more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6

Imagine being a watchman on the city wall. Awake through the night, keeping an eye out for any threat to the safety of the city. I’m sure those nights were long and the waiting dragged on. Perhaps things improved for watchmen when timepieces were invented and hours were measurable, anticipation building as torchlight revealed arms circling around the face of the castle clock. 

I feel this anticipation now. It’s been a long, dark night. But I know morning is coming. I am so eager for day; I can almost see the light peaking over the horizon.

I am waiting for the Lord, holding on to his promises. I am eager to enjoy the fruit of his faithfulness. I imagine myself taking a big bite and grabbing a napkin as the juice runs down my chin. I can almost taste it.

I am praying for you. If you are in a dark season – know that morning will come. You will taste and see God’s goodness in your life. Wait and trust in him.


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