As I watch the sunrise transform the night sky, I remember my darkness. I remember days when it seemed unlikely light would ever shine again. It’s not easy to remember.
Rummaging through old notes and journals, I found an entry that shocked me. I had honestly forgotten the depth of darkness I once lived in. Our family had taken a trip to the Texas coast. I got up early one morning, sat on the balcony and wrestled with grabbing my flip flops for a walk on the beach. That wasn’t a safe place for me.
“….the thought crossed my mind to walk out into the waves and never turn back…..”
I was already drowning in pain. It seemed fitting.
Maybe you find yourself surrounded by darkness. You can’t see a way out. You can’t see your own hand in front of your face. I’ve been there and I remember.
Before the light ever broke through, God was with me in the dark.
One of the tenets of faith is our God’s omnipresence. He is all-present, with us in darkness just as much as light. It can be hard to feel his nearness in the dark. Jesus called out from the cross, My God, my God why have you forsaken me.” Jesus felt all alone, forsaken in the darkness of that moment. 2 Corinthians 5:19 tells us that Jesus was not alone. God the Father was in Christ reconciling the world to himself. God was there, with Jesus all along and he is with you right now no matter how dark your situation may seem.
The danger in forgetting our times of darkness is we trivialize coming into the light. We forget how slowly darkness relinquishes its hold on the night. Hope paints a very thin pink line. If you are not watching closely you may miss its initial glow.
Hope rises in our hearts at different tempos. Sometimes it pops right up. A one, and a two, and a three and BOOM. Brilliance! And other times, darkness shrouds hope like thick black molasses and the sun rise drags on like a funeral dirge. It took two years for the sun to rise glorious in my life, for hope to revive my heart.
I have lived in darkness. But I know without a doubt that light shines. Every morning we see this truth on display. My challenge for those of you surrounded in darkness – wake up early tomorrow and watch the sun rise. I am praying for you to see light breaking through.
Hope paints the sky in thin pink lines
The heavens declare it
clear in phosphorus hue
today and each new day
darkness loses to Light.